At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
