So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
