I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
