we're blogging at a bar
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
