i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
