You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
