Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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