I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
4 words: hood of his car
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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