Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
