i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize