Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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