Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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