Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
