They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
