I wish I only lived at night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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