So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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