Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize