I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
