So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
