Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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