just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
