I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
