it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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