we have officially lost it.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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