why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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