Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
