Do vagina's smell?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
