Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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