I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I can text with my tongue
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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