I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
