some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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