you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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