Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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