I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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