Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
