No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
