I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
