If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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