Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
