She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
