I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
