i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
