what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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