idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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