He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
