He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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