So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize