So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
