I wish they made helmets for livers.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize