don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
