Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
