girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
