Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
