Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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