I am puke
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
