Your tits are I can't wait for
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
