Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
