i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize