Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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