We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
