I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
